discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the room spins SO much faster in panama
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
