this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
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