? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
