if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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