no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
