I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
