I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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