Swine flu. Run for my life!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
