I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
