atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
