Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My balls are so social today.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
