we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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