i just wanna soil my oats bro
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
