Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
