How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
