Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
