he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
