i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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