Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I wear drunk well.
Randomize