Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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