Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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