Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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