Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
meet me or not, i'm out of control
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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