He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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