whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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