3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
