You made me cry and you don't even care
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
