it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My bed smells like the plague
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize