why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
