Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your cock deserves a montage
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize