I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
