i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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