everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
