the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
