There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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