Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
