I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
