the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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