youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
