first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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