Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize