I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize