i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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