2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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