All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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