what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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