Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize