i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
