sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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