Who wears a wallet chain?!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
