oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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