its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize