i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
