??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
there is puke in my bra ... again
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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