the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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