Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
