I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
