how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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