YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
