the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
