I hope mine doesn't look like that
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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